I recently shared my love hate relationship for Instagram stories on Instagram stories, of course. I'm the kind of person that meticulously plans my day (I live by my google calendar) only to have my schedule sabotaged by periodic glimpses into other people's lives. I mean, the pressure is real because in 24 hours it disappears. What if I miss that word I needed, dinner idea or link to that super cute shirt that would have taken me from basic to fab? Social media is great; I've learned a lot, have been able to check up on family and meet new friends. However, I could have been doing the things I planned for the day.
This reminds me of a passage in Romans 7.
“For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness--my sinful capacity]. For the willingness [to do good] is present in me, but the doing of good is not.”
ROMANS 7:15;18 AMP (emphasis added).
Not the most encouraging, I must say, but I love Paul's transparency. The willingness to do good is present in me. The willingness to stick to my to-do list is there. That's a silly example but what about something more serious like the willingness to do God’s will, stay the course, or not give in to fear? It's also there. When it comes to hearing from God I'd say I'm pretty confident that I know what He's saying after all I am His sheep and I know His voice. Plus He's not one to mince words so I know what He wants me to do. I even plan on doing those things but because of doubt, fear, people's feelings and shamefully the "thrill" of having my own will, I don't do the good things. Then I find myself in situations that God never intended for me to be in; planting flowers where they won't grow. They initially look promising but they fail to thrive in the foreign soil, a soil that I can't till and fertilize on my own.
So what do you do when you're tending to dead flowers? Just let them go, sis. Dead flowers are dry, not very pretty and after a while they start to smell really bad. Don't get caught up in trying to make it work. Trust me, it doesn't. Just take a step back and consider this:
God is a good gardener. You are fearfully and wonderfully made but you’re no good apart from the creator. Doing anything on your own is tough but doing something with God opposing it (because He definitely didn't approve it) is impossible. He never intended for you to do it on your own. He cares. He is for you, beside you. You are not forgotten because He sees you. He makes your path secure and it isn’t a path of sand but one of gold; one that is incorruptible. So get to know Him. Read His word, listen to and read pieces inspired by His wisdom and surround yourself with His people. Keep your eyes fixed on Him.
God has a much nicer garden. Please note that nicer doesn’t always mean pleasant. Some parts of it can be a bit rough but it is beautiful. I'm extremely grateful for where God has placed me. In this space I have discovered my identity. It’s been my place of lamentations, exodus, deuteronomy, revelations and lots of psalms. A place to know what true surrender looks like. My place to wrestle with God and obtain my name. God’s garden yields fruit, all year-round.
We're counting on you. All of creation groans and eagerly waits for the reveal of God's sons and daughters. Long before God created the heavens and the earth He knew you and called you for something spectacular. Since then the world has been waiting for you to show up. You can't do what God has called you to do if you're not where He has called you to be.
Embrace God as He beckons you into His garden. Allow His love to cover all your fears, doubts and pain and let Him be your guide. His plans are far better than your own. You’ll still have to do work but the work is for an expected end. In His love the flowers will bloom.